Bruce cameron 8 simple rules for dating my daughter Surray xx video free chat

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.

I'd be embarrassed too--there are only eight of them, for crying out loud!

And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to one of these cretins that I'd have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn't remember them. Why do you think I came up with the eight simple rules? Bruce Cameron is a nationally syndicated humor writer.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.

Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these eight simple rules from memory.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter's suitors feel even worse. Is that because you're stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?

My motto: wilt them in the living room and they'll stay wilted all night. " As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.

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The 2012 sequel to A Dog's Purpose, entitled A Dog's Journey, was adapted by W.

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