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Some people admit that they went into an interracial relationship with some faulty assumptions about the other person. When Jeremy took her to meet his friends, she worried that they would be racist.“In fact, they were all lovely people,” she said.
When Crystal Parham, an African-American lawyer living in Brooklyn, told her friends and family members she was dating Jeremy Coplan, 56, who immigrated to the United States from South Africa, they weren’t upset that he was white, they were troubled that he was from a country that had supported apartheid. Parham doubted she could date him, although he swore he and his family had been against apartheid. Coplan reassured her that he was unfazed; he was falling for her. “I had my own preconceived ideas.”Marrying someone so different from yourself can provide many teachable moments.
When I was a new mother living on the Upper West Side of Manhattan in 2010, I often forgot that my infant son, Harper, didn’t look like me.
As I pushed him around the neighborhood, I thought of him as the perfect brown baby, soft-skinned and tulip-lipped, with a full head of black hair, even if it was the opposite of my blond waves and fair skin.“He’s adorable. ” a middle-aged white woman asked me outside Barnes & Noble on Broadway one day, mistaking me for a nanny.“I am his mother,” I told her.
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Of newlyweds in 2013, 37 percent of Asian women married someone who was not Asian, while only 16 percent of Asian men did so.
There’s a similar gender gap for blacks, where men are much more likely to intermarry (25 percent) compared to only 12 percent of black women.
As they fell in love, she kept reminding him: “I’m black. Marie Nelson, 44, a vice president for news and independent films at PBS who lives in Hyattsville, Md., admits she never saw herself marrying a white man.
But that’s exactly what she did last month when she wed Gerry Hanlon, 62, a social-media manager for the Maryland Transit Administration.“I might have had a different reaction if I met Gerry when I was 25,” she said.