Text etiquette for dating fish or cut bait dating
”During the week, as our text volleys continued in that conversational way, I kept expecting that he would ask me out again, but not once did he mention another date. I also worried I would miss him because I’d gotten used to at least having a virtual boyfriend rather than no boyfriend at all.
On weekdays, he would text to ask how I was, what I’d been doing, how work was. If I were to end it, I might never give us a chance to recapture the chemistry of our first date.
Despite this being the 21st century, I still heard my mother’s admonishing voice in my head, telling me I should never be the first to call a man, and I assumed texting followed roughly the same rules. I gave him a deadline (only in my mind, of course) of that Friday, but yet again I left a little open pocket in my schedule, as I had grown accustomed to doing for the previous two months. And just like always, here came his email inquiring about my weekend plans.
In this same old-school way, I would leave holes in my schedule every weekend that would be large enough for an actual face-to-face date with him, should he ever decide to suggest one. I told him my plans: dinner out on Saturday night and a hike on Sunday. And now, seven years after that, we have two children, two careers and one life together.
If I would be joining him, he’d want to make sure I was happy with the movie choice.
Texting is appropriate when you’re setting the time for your plan, making the plan itself, or even confirming a date the day before.
Mastering the art of the perfect text can take some time, but with practice you’ll be on your way.
But here he was, less than 24 hours later, asking my roommate, “What’s your friend’s story? When he called that night, I didn’t recognize the number, so I was hesitant to pick up, but I was glad I did. Trying to pinpoint where it had all gone wrong, I picked over every word we’d exchanged, from the moment we met until his quick kiss on the cheek and hug when we parted, which was maybe his way of saying goodbye forever. Be there in 5.”So I wrote him a quick note saying I was doing well and asking how he was. By now, his reputation was so established among my friends that they referred to him derisively as “the Texter,” never using his real name.“How’s the Texter? “Nimble-thumbed, I guess.”Several of them, indignant on my behalf, offered to text him back and tell him he needed to fish or cut bait.
We talked and laughed for an hour, and then he asked me out to lunch the next week. I figured our lunch would lead to another date, perhaps one that took place on a weekend and involved dinner. We wound up texting for most of the evening, and I couldn’t help but think, “Why doesn’t one of us just pick up the phone and call? I kept asking myself why I put up with such a 2-D relationship, but still held out hope that the constant texting would lead to something else.